My story -
I am James’s mom. I watched my bright son with so much potential fight addiction and lose. He started the fight at 15. He has been in rehab and locked up. This last time he came home was clean, went to college for HVAC and got his certifications. He got a really good job. Moved out on his own and was doing well. I was one proud mom. Then he relapsed. He tried the classes thru a local community services board. He needed so much more. I tried to get him to check into a Rehab but he said that would cause him to get into trouble with Probation. A lot of these guys are scared to ask for help for fear of being locked up again. So he continued to spiral. Lost his job, his home and all his working tools. He was living in his car and I couldn’t let him come home until he went to rehab. I still had other kids at home. I just didn’t know what to do. I still feel so much guilt that I didn’t do more. He was so far into his addiction he began to break into homes to support his habit. He was caught and locked up. Imagine being a parent and sitting in court seeing your child sentenced to 23 years in prison. All the while asking the courts to help him with his addiction. Apart of me broke going thru that from hurting for him so much and unable to help yet again. Since being locked up he has gotten clean, Taken classes and received a Certification for a Legal Aid. He was the Legal librarian at prison until recently moved to a lower level facility. He is taking legal classes thru NYU. He is working on paying off his court fines. To see the man he is when “clean” breaks my heart to know he will spend so many years in prison. I am 61 and may not be here to see him free and succeeding on the “outside”. He is so smart, motivated and full of potential. I know he can succeed given the chance. He knows he needs to work on his skills to stay clean when out thru professional help. He wants to give back to others by helping with others fighting addictions. For now I spend my time visiting prison, going to any seminars for information to help him and hoping to see him free. Worrying about him inside prison and living with his absence at holidays.
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